So while I
was just discussing with my friends on how we (Nigerians) take culture and
tradition too seriously in Nigeria and how respect is killing us. I came up
with these crazy rules we have been brainwashed with.
They may look impossible but trust me when I
say it is the real thing.
I call them the 10 rules every Nigerian must
take seriously when it comes to respect.
#1 You Must Lie Flat on
Your Stomach When You Are Greeting an Elder: This is
peculiar to a particular tribe in Nigeria. You can’t just say “Hi”, or “good
morning”. You must prostrate. If you don’t prostrate, the gods will be so
pissed that they may strike you dead. I’m sure you don’t want that to happen,
do you?
#2 Do not ever call an
elderly person by name: An elder in this case doesn’t necessarily have to be 20 yrs older than
you are. Even if it is just by 2 days, he/ she are an elder. It is therefore a
taboo to call them by name because you were not there during their naming
ceremony. If you do so, you will not have children on your own.
#3 You Must put a title
before their names:
If the “elder” is not old enough to be your parent, you may put the title
brother/ sister before his/her name. And it doesn’t matter if you are family or
not. After all we are one.
#4 You must refer to them
as Daddy or mummy if they are old enough to be your parents: It is a crime to call these set of
elders, Mr. or Mrs. You must call them mummy and daddy (and it doesn’t add up
if you are related or not). Your pastors are not left out too… if you want to
make it to heaven.
#5 Nod your head and say
yes…. All the time:
Our elders are always right and they always have a story to back shit up. After
all “you can never have as many rags as an elder” so when they tell you
something, no matter how shitty, just nod your head in agreement and say “Yes
Daddy/Mummy
#6 Do Not Talk Back Even
When they ask you a question: This one is crucial, just assume all questions asked by
your parents or an elder is rhetorical. Do not talk back. What is it that you
want to tell them that they don’t already know? They are wiser than you are. Is
it because you have a twitter account or a facebook account or because you are
now on BBM? Ehn?
#7 Do not look into their
eyes… never: When an
elder is talking to you, you must keep your head low. If you are confused just
stare at your feet and imagine how beautiful they are. You must never look up
especially into their eyes. You might go blind if you do. #SeriousTalk
#8 Do not eat on the same
table with an elder: so you must always chill until an elder have
finished eating before you eat on the dining table. And if you are that hungry,
you may sit on the floor to eat or eat in the bathroom…. Anywhere else except
that same table. You have been warned.
#9 When two elders are
talking, do not interrupt… never ever: When you see two elders talking shit, do not interrupt. What
you want to say can wait except maybe the house is on fire… no! Wait a minute
that can also wait- it can never be as important as what they are talking
about.
#10 These rules must be
taken seriously if….: You want to live long, or you want your kids to respect you. These rules
must be taken seriously if you want to make it to heaven.
These were
the things most of us faced while growing up when it comes to showing respect.
And it is arguably one of the reasons why the system is fucked.
Feel free to
add your own rules and share your experiences. And don’t be scared to share
this article...
Sadiq Daniel is a crazy writer and Teens
Coach that blogs
on business, Self- development and his country’s bullshit. He is currently
working on his latest book: Everyone Thinks I’m Crazy, Slated to be out by February 2015. You can pursue him on Twitter: @sadiqspeaks LinkedIn: Sadiq
Daniel and Email: Sadiqdaniel@gmail.com
