Thursday, 1 May 2014

Let’s cut through the BS; I think the Govt is GAY

About a year ago I started writing a book “How Shit Started” where I planned on sharing how simple the solution to our bourgeoisie problems are- that if only we can change the way we ACT the ripple effects of our actions would change those around us hence, the Nigeria we’ve always longed for.

But then I stopped writing after completing 5 chapters. I stopped not because people said nobody except my mom would read my book or because I had nothing else to write.

NO! I stopped because I was am a Nigerian….

Flash forward 6 months>>>> I was involved in a hot argument with some “patriotic” Nigerians. We were discussing the reactions of the Govt and the… wait a min. (PS: holders of public offices are referred to the Govt in this article and that includes NEPA, NPF, and NASS… I think you dig now) to the GAY bill and why it wasn’t passed and the effects.

We almost threw punches at each other. They were really passionate about the GAY bill as if their lives depended on it. And they were not alone. Every single person I talked to (except my mom) never agreed with me on the GAY ish.

We took it personal. Clerics declared vigils and prayers. Some people even threatened war chanting “we no go gree o. we no go gree” it was all bull shit to me. “If you be GAY wetin be my own. At least you no kill anybody, you no steal Naija money” this was my argument.

So I stopped writing my book because I thought nobody would read after all-we are all Nigerians. This time even my mom saw me as this super-hero crazy fellow from another planet.

But something happened that made me realize how wrong I was. My best friend was harassed by the police. He was to go get something not far from where he stays when he was stopped by a man claiming to be a policeman with a gun and a plastic ID carrying the NPF logo hanging around his neck… this was their convo:

Police man: hey stop there

My guy: yh, wassup any problem?

Police man: Who are you? Where are you going? Wetin you carry?
*pauses* is this some job interview or what?

My guy: well I am a student?

Police man: where is your ID card? In short my oga wan see you.

So my friend left with him to see the “oga” that was seated in one “danfo” (they probably hijacked) across the street. He was then frisked and harassed publicly by those that were supposed to be enforcing them laws. He was not the only victim. He saw other innocent young Nigerians too.

He then told me he felt like crying. Not because he was publicly harassed but because he was a Nigerian and there was nothing he could do about it.

Maybe he is right. Maybe he isn’t.

I think being Nigerian is a perfect excuse you could use anywhere because nothing works here.

Why did you get to work late? Ha! Don’t you know I am a Nigerian?

Why are you jobless? My aunty in the village is a witch I am a Nigerian oo

Just say I am a Nigerian>>> and you might even get a free pass to heaven.

But who says things can’t get better?

The only reason why nothing works here is because we don’t want anything to. We are satisfied with the status quo.
My Cousin Spent 8yrs in school for a 5-yr course.... No Carry Over oo

I have never seen many Nigerians stand up against something like they did against the GAY bill (except during the fuel subsidy-occupy Nigeria-ish).

Everywhere you went then it was GAY, GAY, and GAY. Offices, schools, motels, churches, everywhere you went.

And this was something that never really affected us individually and even the nation as a whole. It won’t make Nigeria any worse than it was.

But we all (at least 70% of Nigerians did) stood together, held hands; some even fasted because they didn’t want no GAY in Nigeria.

If only we can come together and battle the real deal. Even if all it takes is to see these problems as GAY. I think we should.
This is NIGERIA not Iraq or something. It is really happening
Let’s see our government as GAY, let’s see Boko-Haram as GAY, let’s see these abnormal things as GAY…

Let us speak our silence. Don’t just say “I am a Nigerian”. There are so many abnormal things we tend to see as normal because we are “Nigerians” and we think there is nothing we can do about them.

Remember the NIS recruitment scam, the killings by the Boko-Haram sect, the poor educational system in the country, bad road networks, poor power supply amidst all other abnormal things… these are the real GAY.

There is no Nigerian (except maybe the president) that has not fallen victim to one of these abnormal things.

Graduating after 8yrs for a 5-year course is GAY

Screaming “UP NEPA” for power supply that won’t even last 5 minutes is GAY
Everyone has a "tiger" Generating set... but we go still buy fuel sef. Fuel na Gold
Professors forcing students to pay else they fail is GAY

Killing of innocent people is GAY…. “Super-GAY”

Hike of school fees from #25,000 to #250,000 when the minimum wage is barely above #18,000 is GAY.

234,230,18,1 (the number doesn't matter) school girls abducted is "SUPER-SUPER-GAY"
Somebody started the #BringBackOurGirls protest... We can do something too
So let’s stop the “e no concern me thing” or the “I am a Nigerian, there is nothing I can do about it. There are things we can do.

 Let’s fight them anyhow we can; pray, fast, shout, scream, write, just do something but more importantly change the way react to these things. Let’s see them as those abnormal things they are or GAY (anyone that works for you though).

Let’s take one step at a time. Change the way we act. Let’s see abnormal things as abnormal. Do not be satisfied with the status quo.

Sadiq Daniel is a GAY crazy entrepreneur that blogs on business, Self- development and his country’s bullshit. He is currently working on his latest book: Everyone Thinks I’m Crazy, Slated to be out by February 2015. You can pursue him on Twitter: @sadiqspeaks BB: 27621DB4 and Email:

Photo Credit(s): VanguardNigeria, InformationNg