Saturday, 20 June 2015

Grow Some Balls Dammit! (Real Life Stuff That School Never Taught Me)

DISCLAIMER: This might turn out to be a very long article (or maybe not). This is definitely not my style of writing (if I still remember what my style was), but I can assure you that this ride is going to be rough (few bumps as per the Govt hasn't invested in good road networks yet) and at the same time one of the awesomest ride you've ever had with me. The article is rated G - so no sh*t and f**k. (ok maybe a little but you'd survive it... Just focus on the message dammit!)

I am so inspired that the disclaimer (above) turned out to be that long. *wipes sweat*

I have learnt more lessons in 2015 (that has not even ended) than I have in all my 20-something years of existence combined.

Ok the last paragraph was a lie but I have really learnt some important stuffs about life and the hustles of an entrepreneur this year (things that school never taught me). And I'd be sharing some of those lessons here (or all... It all depends on how long the juice I'm running on will last).

Writing Goals On A Sheet Of Paper Is F**king Easy: You see, If you have met me, you'd know I read a lot. I read almost everything including bus tickets. The only books I find very hard to read are school books because they suck!- you only read them to ace tests and exams, after that, they are completely useless (yes that's what I think about them. You may see them differently, that's you). My favorite genre of books are the ones that inspires the sh*t outta you. So I've read more than 5 dozens of those books.

Most of these guys will tell you; "You are created for a reason... Figure out what your passions are... Figure out how you want to influence the world positively... You can do anything if you put your mind to it... Set goals and Write them down... Blah Blah Blah"

Okay, all these punchlines are awesome — they are indeed true, but they make it look so easy that you'd set big goals, write them on a piece of paper and 10 years later you'd reflect on your life and wonder what the f**k happened.

Writing your goals on a piece of paper, reading it out loud before you go out in the morning and before you sleep at night is cool, it keeps you in line with the person you intend becoming in life. But it is the easy part (in fact the easiest). The hard part is actually DOing it. DOing is hard because most times it has to do with challenging almost everything that school, the society and even your parents had taught you. DOing has to do with getting out of your comfort zone, DOing has to do with meeting new people and dealing with them. DOing has to do with connecting with people that you don't have  common interests with (like the person is even a f**king MANU fan mehn and you support Chelsea!). DOing is hard... It is the hardest part of the deal. So you need to take serious note of that.

... And HUMILITY is Key! When it comes to excellence or making it in life (or pretending to make it) Humility cannot be over emphasized. I learnt humility (still learning) the hard way. The damnest thing about humility is that you can't fake it. You are either humble or you are not. Before recently, I only listen to 'smart' people's advices. If you are like that, I can assure you that your life will be f**ked up beyond repair.

Humility has to do with respecting the opinions of other people, seeing beyond the person talking, the ability to see the sense in the nonsense. Humility means so many other things but I'd love you to focus on the part I just mentioned (see reason below).

Because for you to actually make sh*t happen in life, you need people. You can't do anything alone. So you need to learn to connect with people, understand how people think and feel about certain issues and deal with it. It is just sad that they don't teach Humility in school. In school, they tell you 2X+15=32 and to find X. They don't care how you feel about 'X' or if you are even in the mood to find 'X' or not. Lecturers/Teachers are always right... It is sardonic and I really hope things get better.

Mistakes Are Sweet: The ability to make mistakes will take you places (even heaven). See, you are human. God created man and put him in this big space to explore and make something out of it. So there is no way we won't make mistakes. But then school, our parents, the society, our f**king friends have brainwashed us into thinking that mistakes are for fools or idiots.

I want you to erase that mentality (or learn to erase it). In order to create anything that matters or be a positive influence in the world we live in, you need to be able to take leaps, get out your comfort zone, try to do things that people haven't done or copy them and do yours differently.

In the process of doing all those stuffs, you'd make mistakes. And when you do, don't cry or whine about them. Instead figure out what went wrong, study your mistakes well and try again. You'd most likely get it wrong the next time but the mistake you'd make at this point will be better than the previous one.

It is the accumulation of these mistakes that results to success and excellence. Success doesn't just happen overnight.

... You Can't Please Everybody: I know you have heard this punchline like a zillion times, but this is a very deep and different version. When we are creating something that matters or when we have this great idea that we think it is the next big thing, most of us try our best to make this idea resonate with everyone - our friends,parents, wives, main chicks and side chicks. WRONG MOVE!

When you have a great idea, don't try to tweak it so everyone can enjoy the ride. Study the market (very well) and carve out your own niche, tribe and special people that the story you are telling will resonate with.

The problem with trying to sell to everyone or please everyone is that, you would tweak and tweak and tweak that idea till it becomes nothing and at the end of the day, you won't do anything.

Take a cue from this; (I don't know if it is a great example but I'd say it anyways) I don't write for everybody, many people have said my write-ups are too pessimistic, too sarcastic, contains a lot of sh*t and f**k. I won't change because I'm being me. I don't like sugar coating things the way a lot of motivational speakers do. I am not an hypocrite and most of all I don't write for everybody. I only write for about 500 people and my content resonates with them (and that is f**king ok by me).

... And finally the golden rule- GROW SOME BALLS: Life is full of ups and downs... You'd wake up one day and you'd realise that your kids (that you trained for 15 years) are not biologically connected to you in any way. You are very close to signing this big deal only for the investors to flake at the 99th minute. You will score the winning goal for your team - the fans will call you the world best... The next week you'd be called a monkey because you are black. Your boyfriend will say you are not good enough because you asked him to wait till after marriage before he can taste the apple. You'd spend 7 years in the university for a 5 year course (no thanks to strikes) graduate with a second class upper (or even a first class) and you'd search for jobs for extra 4 years before you finally settle to drive cabs just to survive. And most importantly a cup of Garri is now very expensive.

Yes, life can be that crazy. And all those craziness might stop you from becoming that awesome person you have always wanted to become.

So the cheat here is to GROW SOME BALLS. The only way to live through these craziness (they'd come trust me) is to grow some balls. Not small ones, Big ones and this is irrespective of your gender.

Growing balls means staying strong regardless of what live throws at you. When life gives you shit, make shit happen. When it gives you pepper... Make pepper soup.

Sometimes the pepper might be too spicy that you'd cry. Cry when you need to cry but be quick to move on.

Grow some balls and face your fear till your fear fears you. *drops mic*

PS: This is indeed the longest article I have ever written in my life. I hope it does (or doesn't) make sense to you. Share the article with at least one person or tweet it dammit! (I'm not always this crazy...maybe I am)

PPS: The picture above has nothing to do with this article.... 

Sadiq Daniel is a certified Crazy Writer and Teens Coach that blogs on business, Self- development, Life lessons and Ideas that challenges the status quo... You can pursue him on Twitter: @sadiqspeaks LinkedIn: Sadiq Daniel and